Finishing Positive, Evaluating the "Why," and Mentally Winning

A lot can happen after a particularly poor performance or DNF. From experience, dwelling on a particularly poor showing is detrimental and can impact long-term results down the road. After not finishing Superior, I had a void feeling about the entire season, even with all the positive accomplishments and joy that running brings. For the last two weeks, I had been running once per week and cycling for enjoyment just to move after long work days, but it felt unguided and aloof. With luck, I stumbled upon a late entry to the Trail Loppet and decided it was my ticket out of unfinished racing. Going into the Loppet I knew quite a few things about my body. I continue to have nagging foot problems, had not done speed workouts since July, and mostly drank beer for the last two weeks, leading to not stellar fitness. So, why the Loppet? Quite simply, this race is one of my favorites due to challenging terrain, its urban setting, and the vast amount of talent that it draws. It is the showdown of unbelievable ski fitness vs. some top-notch trail and road runners around the area. With that said, my goals were to enjoy the gorgeous fall weather and race atmosphere, run as hard as my body would allow, and simply finish with a sense of accomplishment. Starting with that mindset lead to an extremely positive day.

Despite a late start and some early snafus, the Loppet did not disappoint. As expected, the race started out hard and I settled into a pace that felt aggressively quick for my fitness. Luckily, I had a suffer buddy to accompany me for the first half of the race. After the first two miles, my breathing settled enough to gradually spit out a few sentences as we went through the south end of Wirth park and off towards Quaking Bog. If anything blows me away about this race, it's the vast amount of single track that exists right in the heart of Minneapolis. Although I swear some of the Loppet's course is comprised of deer trails, it is pretty sweet to run full speed through what seems like dense forest from the south to north end of the park! Like usual, I was gassed after 5 miles of the race hitting the pavement to watch people slowly pull away. Never have I had to hold down the puke sensation, but I was clearly running out of my fitness zone. I hardly ever push THAT hard on trails, but the Loppet always brings that mentality out.

As my pace dwindled and legs tightened up later in the race, I tried to simply focus on the "why" of why I love running. My draw to running comes down to a couple of core things. First would be a natural love for the outdoors. For me, there is no easier way to get outside and enjoy the elements than through movement across both familiar and new terrain. In my lifetime, I have experienced so many new places just through foot or bicycle travel, many being close to my house and impossible to get to via another mode. Take this year's trips to Bozeman for instance. After one week, I covered nearly all of the trails in Hyalite Canyon, taking in incredible memories throughout the journey. How else could I accomplish this task in under a week! I look at that as a blessing. Next, running has always been a fierce mental opponent over a variety of distances.  Although unfit on Saturday, I was able to push through a half dozen painful moments to fall only two minutes shy of my PR on this course which was set during peak marathon condition. By having the ability to pull through seemingly intense pain or exhaustion, I have been able to transfer resilience to other areas of life. I think my work ethic, mental sharpness, and overall outlook has been strengthened by training and racing over time. Lastly, I would say I am drawn to run because of the community. The Midwest has a never ending pool of talent. Every time I think my training routine is perfected, I learn something new from others. Just when I think I am in peak form, there is always a handful of better athletes. In the most unexpected places, a new friend and training partner will appear. And best yet, Minnesota offers so many top notch events that I have to pace myself to not over-race each year.

With all of those thoughts, I realized that I can reflect even while falling into a hypoxic haze. To most, pushing that hard doesn't sound like fun, but for the above reasons, I always love a hard effort whether prepared or unprepared. This year's Loppet was a success, not due to overall results, but due to how much I learned in the process. In the future, I will break through disappointment by redefining the "Why" and putting forth my best effort instead of dwelling on the past.